just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
