Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
