Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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