it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
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I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
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Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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