So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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