dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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