I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
