Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
