now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
