and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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