I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
