Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
