I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i will never coherently bang her
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
