her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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