happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My ass is underappreciated
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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