How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
