yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
