Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
