His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
