Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
