Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
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