..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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