is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
