and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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