So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
