is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
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