Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
