I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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