she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I have demons in me.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
