Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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