The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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