omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
