Your mouth is God's brothel.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
