I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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