I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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