I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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