dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
