It's Friday. Sex?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
