You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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