bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
