He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
