My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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