please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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