I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
