She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
