You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
