a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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