So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
