...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
