How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
