I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He has the fingertips of a God
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
