Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
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Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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