then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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