You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
