she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
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Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
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I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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