do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
