Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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