why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
im about as happy as oj after his trial
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
