What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
