boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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