i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Randomize