you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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