Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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