girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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