I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You had me at "let me see your balls"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
